֍ 49 ֍ Tortoise & the Hare & the Snail • An Allegory • Dusil Photography

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Preface

Aesop’s fable has been told and retold over the centuries. But many aspects of his story have been added and removed over the years, so few people know of its original draft. I managed to gain temporary possession of the Greek stone where this fable was originally etched, and I arduously translated it into English. Apparently Aesop noticed several children crying after testing this version, so he made a few subsequent changes. Here it is original draft, for your reading pleasure…

Tortoise & the Hare & the Snail • Alpha Version, Uncut & Uncensored

A hare was known throughout the forest for his speed and agility. He hopped effortlessly over long distances without breaking a sweat. One day he hopped past a tortoise as she made her way through the forest. The hare stopped and laughed.

“You’re a slow motherfucker with those short feet, aren’t ya? Take care and don’t accidentally fall asleep!”, the hare laughed and ran circles around the tortoise. She tried to ignore him as she put one foot in front of the other.

“Wow, I have to look closely to even tell you’re moving. You’re a slow fuck!” the hare says patronizingly.

The tortoise stops and says, “Go ahead and make fun of me you piece of shit. I have a lot of patience and I always arrive at my destination. I’d probably even beat you in a race, asshole!” said the tortoise with conviction.

The hare drops onto the forest floor laughing hysterically. After a few minutes, he calms down and says, “Are you serious? Sure I’ll race! Let’s fucking do this!”

The forest animals began to gather as rumors quickly spread of a turtle claiming to be faster than a rabbit. They all gather at the starting line to watch the spectacle. Suddenly they hear a faint voice coming from the forest.

“Hey!”

Everyone looked around trying to figure out where it’s coming from.

“Hey, guys!”

All the animals look in every direction, uncertain who’s talking. After a long while they hear the voice again.

“Hey, I wanna race too!”

They all look down simultaneously and see a tiny snail.

“Dude, this ain’t your gig! Get the fuck out of here!” the tortoise says to the snail.

“You think you’re some hotshot, racing a fucking rabbit. Fat chance dickhead. Anyway, I’ll beat both of you douchebags!” replies the snail.

Meanwhile, the hare nearly crushes the snail as he jumps around like he’s on cocaine (i.e., Yes, coca leaves existed three thousand years ago). The spectators giggled as the slug waddled past them. The race is delayed waiting for the fucking snail to get to the starting line. Meanwhile a fox is designated as the referee.

“Whoever arrives first at the lake wins the race,” the fox announces. “Are you ready? Three, two, one – go!” And the hare bolts. The tortoise begins to crawl forward and winks at the snail in contempt.

“Fuck you!” replies the snail, as he also wobbles forward.

After a short time, the hare realizes he’s almost at the lake. He looks back to see the tortoise in the distance, barely off the starting line.

“Wow, that turtle’s the slowest motherfucker I’ve ever seen.”

So he decides to make a detour to his carrot patch. Meanwhile, not far from the starting line, the snail screams, “You two assholes think you’re so special just because you guys have feet and bones! You don’t own the forest, man! I’ll still beat you two fuck-heads!”

The tortoise continues to inch forward, step by step, ignoring the snail’s insults.

The hare returns hours later to see that the tortious has progressed but still has far to go. He hears faint ranting from the starting line, but it’s too far to understand. The forest spectators watch in bewilderment as the hare decides to take a nap.

Suddenly, the hair is jolted awake. He can’t believe his eyes. To cheers and applause the tortoise sets foot over the finish line and wins the race! All the animals of the forest celebrate her incredible victory.

“I told you I’d win, you piece of shit!”, says the tortoise.

“Well, I’m still faster than you, bitch!” barks the hare.

“Get out of my face you fucking narcissist!”, replies the tortoise, and the hare hops away completely oblivious to the fact that he lost.

Months go by and the snail finally reaches the finish line. No one’s in sight. The snail cries out, “I made it dickheads! Do you hear me?! It took me a whole day to get around that salt patch! But I made it! …Hello?”

The snail makes his way to the lake to moisturize and suddenly stops in front of another mound of salt. “Are you kidding me! I bet that cunt put it here!”

The snail flops over in exhaustion and a bird swoops down and eats him.

The End!

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Despite delusions of grandeur, even when fraught with insecurity and envy because you think everyone’s better than you – it’s still possible to partially achieve your goals.

Moral of the Story

Despite delusions of grandeur, even when fraught with insecurity and envy because you think everyone’s better than you – it’s still possible to partially achieve your goals.

Αἴσωπος
Slave and Storyteller,
Thursday, 588 B.C.

Note to self: … maybe I should focus on the turtle?

P.S. Gender choices are random. No psychoanalysis should be extrapolated from my choices. I’m all about 2SLGBTQ+ bitches!

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֍ Series ֍ Life • Philosophy • Psychology

Dusil Photography captures exquisite moments with models who dare to be vulnerable and enter the world of sensuality. I’ve been blessed with the freedom to explore their deepest emotions. Whether it’s alluring curves or a seductive gaze, each photograph tells her story. My portfolio reflects a seamless fusion of feminine beauty and compassion.