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Single men are subjected to unfounded judgments regarding their sexuality. There is a convoluted belief that if a middle-aged man has been single for too long then they must have, “turned gay”. Most of society sees only two types of people: 1) Those who are in a relationship and, 2) Those looking for a relationship. It’s mystifying to the naysayers that a third category exists: 3) Those who chose to be single.

From relatives, I’m often asked the girlfriend question. I would give my usual explanation as to why I’m happily single, only to receive blank stares and endure their stories of divorced men turning gay. I used to imagine conversations at the breakfast table:

  • Question: “Does he have a girlfriend yet?”
  • Response: “Not that I’m aware.”
  • Reply: ” That’s strange. You should check if he turned gay.”
  • Response: “Good idea. Let me get back to you on that one.”

Friends subliminally tested me on my sexuality for a full decade after my divorce. I’d be subjected to a series of very subtle questions. Only after they felt comfortable with my answers were we able to proceed with our day. I often wondered if their probing tactics was a subconscious effort, and if they were even cognizant of the fact that I was fully aware of the interrogation.

As an INTJ, I find a lot of peace and harmony in being single. I don’t have to argue with anyone. I’m not required to modify my behavior because someone is complaining about it. I’m not subjected to coercive tactics asking me to change my personality, “for the betterment of the relationship”. I’ve adapted to the single life for better or worse.

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I’m busy with my hobbies. I learn every day. When I’m artistic, my heart fills with joy. I exercise every week. I enjoy building things. I don’t get lonely. I love my children. I’m happy and single.

What more do I need?

For the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being LGBTQ2+. I believe this is exclusively an individual choice. Everyone has the freedom to choose their path. No one has the right to judge anyone’s sexuality or gender preference. We’re all free and equal.

So here we are. I’m busy with my hobbies. I learn every day. When I’m artistic, my heart fills with joy. I exercise every week. I enjoy building things. I don’t get lonely. I love my children. I’m happy and single. What more do I need?

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֍ Series ֍ Life • Philosophy • Psychology


Dusil Photography captures exquisite moments with models who dare to be vulnerable and enter the world of sensuality. I’ve been blessed with the freedom to explore their deepest emotions. Whether it’s alluring curves or a seductive gaze, each photograph tells her story. My portfolio reflects a seamless fusion of feminine beauty and compassion.